Tsuki's issues

[Sakerra]

tsuki said:

I'm double posting for the same reason as mai.

Okay, I have a problem, my dad has major anger control issues he is also completly stressed out 'cause his work is sending him to Japan again (his dad was a drunk, and crazy). So yesterday (my mom was at teh doctor) was my little sisters birthday, and she was going to go over to a friends house after she had cleaned her room, she has some issues with staying on track, I think she has ADD, so everything ended up hidden under sheets and in odd corners, sorta obvious. I was down in my room with my dogs and we heard yelling, my family is always yelling so I just thought, Dad your stupid, of course she won't just clean her room she's ADD. So I turned my music up way loud, 'cause I hate listening to them. 20 minutes later I turned my music down, and I still heard yelling, I asked my dogs what was going on 'cause they were worried too. We all went upstairs and I ran over to Allie (my sisters) room, she was on her bed, in hysterics, crying and shaking. I hugged her and asked her what was wrong, she just kept crying. Then I heard my Dad stomping back, he didn't see me (I tend to not be noticed) and began yelling at her for what I could tell was like the 49th time, he was swearing and screaming at her to clean her room and she's only 12. I got so mad, I stood up got in front of him and told him that he was way over the top and to go away. He looked at me sorta stunned for a second then left. Of course two minutes later he came back and started swearing and yelling at me, so I stared at him, and growled. Then I told him that he was being crazy and to leave, I would help her clean her room. I kept my teeth bared and my eyes on his, i think i freaked him out enough that he left, my sister is still in hysterics and keeps saying that this is the worst birthday ever, so I comforted her and we cleaned her room together. Of couse he just keeps coming back and I keep being the one in charge and making him leave, he's just stupid and dosen't get anything. He refuses to take anti-depressant medication which is what he needs, and he hates counslers. He can't hear himself or see what his anger does to our family. How am I supposed to respect him, If I have to be the adult? I'm 14 and he's 48, yet I had to use canine defensive-agression bodylanguage to show him that I have so much more power than he does. This isn't the first time he's been this angry either, but this time my mom wasn't home. Is it right for me to disrepect my dad? And how should I tell/get him to get help? Your opinions would help...

mai said:

Wow, that's tough. I had no idea. That is a lot of responsibility for a fourteen year old, and no one should have to deal with that type of stuff. I know what it is like, my dad does that sometimes too. It's scary. I think that it is okay to not think so highly of him after what happened, but you should still try to love him. It's a hard thing to decide, but maybe you just don't decide. I know that you might not trust or look up to him as much anymore, but you still want to love him. Something I do know is that you can't pretend like it didn't happen. And it won't help keeping it all in, 'cause that won't fix anything. Hang in there, you can always talk to me. I admire you even more for what you are going through. I can't believe how well you handled things, I wish I could be like that when I have problems. Just know that you've got us, even though we may not all know each other, and we are here for you when you need us.

foureyedjack said:

Hey Mai, I have a same sort of delima. My best friend for two years was going on a power trip. I was just nice to her but her head kept getting bigger and bigger till she could have worn the school as a hat. Then she transfered, she's still in my seminary class though. I was just nice and for the most part tryed to ignore her. It didn't work, she kept hitting me but thats ok. We likes to eat sqqiuuells. (I guess I have to be an optimis sometimes, don't I? I'm usually not)

For tsuki all I can say is I'm here for you. I've never been through anything like that. Its not right that parents should do that to their kids. I mean, they should be the one coimfortaing you, not you comforting them adn to use you canineness like that is just uncalled for on your dads part. The last time I bared my teeth was when my power-tripped friend punched me in the face. It was sort of fun to see her cower like the little house cat she is. (My spelling and grammer suck. Sorry)

yokohoshi said:

Mai-in the age you and the rest of us are going through it is normal not to know where you fit in my advice to you would be to decide where you want to fit in and then get your self there. and I told you this already and I don' t mean to sound harsh but people change and become other people I have done so my self and it might amaze you if you could see the person I use to be. when friends change for the worst they are holding back your social life and making you unsure of your self my advice: ditch them.

Tsuki- this is not really advice for you I guess but comments for others we have disscussed your issue before and all I can say is I'm here with an open willing ear. and I hope you would come to me. to others just random thoughts I had on Tsuki's situation. When children become adults but are still children it is child abuse in whatever form it may come in that is what it is. To Tsuki (sorry being random) your dad needs help and if he doesn't get it it affects your life and I know it is hard but you know my issues with my father here is my advice 1) pray for him (I know you love him and that is reason enough to pray for him (even if that love is not always evident) , but the lord has said pray for they enemies, and I know he is not your enemy but at times he plays the part) 2) let him know write him a note be kind and careful but let him know say something like ( don' t really write this exactly) Dad I love you and I aprecciate all you do for me. But I have lost my childhood and I am only 14 I would like an oppertunity to be a teen but that will require work on both our parts and then say some thing about not being fair.

Well this is my prob.- I will make this short- My father, we will call him rob for these proposes because my mom has a habit of reading over my shoulder so this is how it goes He plays Pokemon a card game all the time with my bro's he spend excive amounts of money on it and never pays me any mind I find my self hateing him what do I do?